squilch_scarlet's Xanga

A (socially/emotionally retarded) Juvenile's Guide to Normalcy and Stability in College

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 11:25:42 GMT

Don't you wish that someone or something should've warned you about the academic year? A guide, maybe; a warning that could have been really helpful.

(This is how Obama's inauguration affected me. Crap, I'm crazy.)

A (socially/emotionally retarded) Juvenile's Guide to Normalcy and Stability in College

A strange, new world awaits you.
You are ignorant. You do not know everything. Right now, forget your academic achievements prior to college. Rather than help you, it will make you seem like an arrogant a*s.

Make friends. How dare you say that you can survive alone. Swallow your pride and insecurities and ask help. Contract your facial muscles to form a smile. Gesticulate. Don't bring a book you're currently reading so as to force yourself to have stimulating conversations with your peers. Scratch that. Force is such a strong word. Be genuinely interested. Know the saying Don't judge a book by its cover? Remember it by heart and don't ever forget it. Accept that some people do give off hot air in the room. Don't mind it.

Be discerning of your decisions. You might regret it later. Take risks and just try. You've got nothing to lose since you're just a wimpy freshman. If you want to do something, even if you don't think you could do it, just do it (Nike has a good ad agency).

If you want to audition for the UP Manila Chorale, don't eat allergy-inducing food from McDonald's. They will cost you an opportunity.

Know your territory. That way, you can save more money.

Don't overestimate yourself. Get a dormitory unit or a condominium unit. The commute is hard. Traffic sucks. Sitting for two hours in a cramped car will make your butt sore.

Use technology to your advantage.

Think of the future but get your feet on the ground. Don't procrastinate. Don't feel like such a failure if you fail your first exam. Don't reassure yourself by using your university as an ice bag/safety net. Study. It works. It sure does. Don't lose your momentum by the beginning of the second month of the school year.

Enjoy. Play the guitar, sing in the shower more often, watch movies (preferably with your friends), practice your swing in the driving range, squeeze your dog's wrinkly face, draw, write, read non-depressing books, buy stuff for yourself, and spend time with your friends. In short, carpe diem.

Practice speaking in Filipino. It's embarrassing. At the same time, tame your twang.

The world wide web is your friend. Just don't make it your best friend.

Head-banging to Air Traffic, The Strokes, The White Stripes, Cold War Kids, Switchfoot, and other bands of upbeat music is cathartic. Stress is like, so uncool.

Laugh at yourself. It's fun.

Be familiar with the LRT, the MRT, the bus, the jeepney, and other alternatives of transportation. You will be needing this in the future if ever you need to go to various libraries, celebrations (the annual lantern parade), or would spend the whole day in your assigned MRT station (RockEd/NSTP).

Control your temper. It will induce palpitations and asthma attacks. Which reminds me, don't have an asthma attack before your Philo1 class But be thankful that you didn't get to watch the Oblation Run.

Your close circle of friends in college are great, funny, fantabulous people. No matter how cliche it sounds, treasure them. Find another less embarrassing word for treasure. Do manage to remember their birthdays.

Music is love.

Love for a certain subject has a symmetric relationship with your final grade.

(On a more serious note...)
Pray. Thank Him for opportunities, grades, and everything you will receive throughout the academic year. Pray for self-control, patience, joy, and perseverance. Have faith and be grateful.

Paying it Forward for Mang Mel (from Ma'am Andrea Martinez's ygroup)

Sat, 24 Jan 2009 05:02:12 GMT

Paying It Back for Mang Meliton a.k.a "Mang Milton"

Posted by Mike on Dec 26, '08 9:06 AM for everyone

Meet Meliton Zamora, a retired University of the Philippines janitor and my hero.

For forty-five years, he swept floors, cleaned up trash, watered plants and did odd jobs at the University.

I met him when I was active with the UP Repertory Company, a theater group based (then) at the third floor lobby of the Arts & Sciences (AS) building. He would sweep and mop the hallway floors in silence, venturing only a nod and a smile whenever I passed him.

Back then, for me he was just one of those characters whom you got acquainted with and left behind as soon as you earned your degree and left the university for some big job in the real world. Someone whose name would probably ring a bell but whose face you'd have a hard time picturing. But for many UP students like me who were hard up and had a difficult time paying their tuition fees, Mang Mel was a hero who gave them the opportunity to finish university and get a big job in the real world.

The year was 1993 and I was on my last semester as a Clothing Technology student. My parents had been down on their luck and were struggling to pay for my tuition fee. I had been categorized as Bracket 9 in the recently implemented Socialized Tuiton and Financial Assistance Program (STFAP). My father had lost his job and to supplement my allowance, I worked part time as a Guest Relations Officer at Sam's Diner (back when the term GRO didn't have shady undertones) and took some odd jobs as a Production Assistant, movie extra and wardrobe mistress.

To be eligible for graduation, I had to enroll in my last three courses and pay my tuition fee. Since my parents didn't have enough money for my matriculation, I applied for a student loan hoping that my one of my Home Economics (HE) professors would take pity on me and sign on as a guarantor for the student loan. But those whom I approached either refused or were not eligible as guarantors. After two unsuccessful weeks of looking for a guarantor, my prospects looked dim, my future dark. And so, there I was, a downtrodden twenty year old with a foggy future, crying in the AS lobby. I only had twenty four hours left to look for a guarantor.

Mang Mel, with a mop in hand, approached me and asked me why I was crying. I told him I had no guarantor for my student loan and will probably not be able to enroll this semester. I had no hopes that he would be able to help me. After all, he was just a janitor. He borrowed my loan application papers and said softly, "Puwede ako pumirma. Empleyado ako ng UP." He borrowed my pen and signed his name. With his simple act of faith, Mang Mel not only saved my day, he also saved my future.

I paid my student loan the summer after that fateful day with Mang Milton and it has been 15 years since then. I am not filthy rich but I do have a good job in the real world that allows me to support my family and eat three meals a day. A few weeks ago, a friend and UP Professor, Daki, told me that Mang Mel recently recorded an album which he sells to supplement his meager retirement pay, I asked another friend, Blaise, who's taking his Master's degree at UP to find out how we could contact Mang Mel. My gesture of gratitude for Mang Mel's altruism has been long overdue. As fate would have it, my friend saw Mang Mel coming out of the shrubbery from behind the UP library, carrying firewood. He got Mang Mel's address and promised him that we would come over to buy his album.

Together with Blaise and my husband Augie, I went to pay Mang Mel a visit last Sunday. Unfortunately, he was out doing a little sideline gardening for a UP professor in Tandang Sora. We were welcomed into their home by his daughter Kit. As she pointed out to a laminated photo of Mang Mel on the wall, she proudly told us that her father did retire with recognition from the University. However, she sadly related to us that many of the students whose loans Mang Mel guaranteed neglected to settle their student loans. After forty-five years of service to the University, Mang Mel was only attributed 171 days of work for his retirement pay because all the unpaid student loans were deducted from his full retirement pay of about 675 days. This seems to me a cruel repayment for his kindness.

This is a cybercall to anyone who did not get to pay their student loans that were guaranteed by Mang Mel. Anytime would be a good time to show Mang Mel your gratitude.

Mang Mel is not asking for a dole out, though I know he will be thankful for any assistance you can give. So I ask those of you who also benefited from Mang Meliton's goodness or for those who simply wish to share your blessings, please do visit Mang Mel and buy his CD (P350 only) at No. 16-A, Block 1, Pook Ricarte, U.P. Campus, Diliman, Quezon City (behind UP International House) or contact his daughter Kit V. Zamora at 0916-4058104. ._

(from http://groups.yahoo.com/group/psych101UPM/message/74)

A Word from an Ostensible Idealist

Sat, 03 Jan 2009 06:05:57 GMT

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Nothing is impossible.

Man has proven that through automobiles, airplanes, and even landing on the moon. Man has established civilizations and empires that have lasted for centuries. Would it have all been done by one man? No, some may insist. Everything that has been done was attained through cooperation. It brings us to ask if it is then possible for one man to change the world. And due to a lengthy discussion (we are Political Science students, you know), we were asked if the world should change and what we’d like to change about it.

A lot of people may say that change can never be brought about by one. People have helped along the way. Without ‘others’, he wouldn’t have changed anything. Some may also say that the world is an immovable force; it is too big and vast. While a few may not even consider the idea, simply stating that change should begin with us.

Yes, people have helped along the way. Yes, the world is big and vast. Yes, we should start change with ourselves first. But let’s not get ourselves delve deeper into the quicksand of technicalities. If people would always say that an individual had help along the way and ergo, could not be considered, then heroes could not be heroes. We shouldn’t be able to remember Einstein or Andres Bonifacio. If people would stress that the world is vast, then why did Alexander the Great nearly conquer the world? But yes, I do believe in changing ourselves first.

I strongly believe that one man can change the world. Adolf Hitler did. And even President-elect Barack Obama epitomizes the word itself. I may have been called an idealist but I prefer optimist. All of us have the capacity to make a difference, to spark a revolution, to think up a grand idea that can change the world. I think we should just have the conviction, faith in ourselves and humanity, and an incredible vision. After we change ourselves.

With all these arguments, I do believe that the world should change. Again, people may say that without pain, conflict, and death, we would not know what happiness or love is. Virtues would be nonexistent. But aren’t we living in the world everyday trying so desperately to improve ourselves and not wallow in our own filth? Aren’t we being human by bringing pain to other people and solving that afterwards?

Yes, pain, conflict, and death exist. But we strive to forget and move on. I believe that God created this world for us to be happy. The world should change, by people igniting the fire of hope and love in others. We are constantly in a struggle for happiness and we should help others find their own. All the sources of human suffering are in a great degree but are conquerable by human effort; and though their removal is a slow process (generations will have died), it can be achieved.

If I could, I would change the perception of the impossible – in the sense that there are unfathomable problems and that peace or anything close to nirvana cannot be attained. Humanity has already proven itself capable of such a feat, but people are still scared to death of that responsibility.

All of them might be a dream to many. But I’m still an optimist.

‘The real tragedy is the tragedy of the man who never in his life braces himself for his one supreme effort – he never stretches to his full capacity, never stands up to his full stature.’ –Arnold Bennett

'08... And Bitching/Rejoicing About It

Mon, 29 Dec 2008 11:01:56 GMT

These made my year: (I do think they're in chronological order)

Kalog (Aby, Cathy, Rosette, Yuko, Kate, and Anna) - They were a different breed of people I usually stay with. And it's not bad. It is new but it's also very warm and unexpected, especially when you're still kinda new in your senior year.
Cate Blanchett getting double nominations for Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress in the Academy Awards and winning Best Supporting Actress in the Golden Globes. - It's pretty weird, you know. But she is my favorite actress.
Making up with my friends - Speaks for itself
Graduation - The hard work was all worth it. The arguments with Ms Pineda about the school paper, the cramming, the competitions, the research paper, and the projects would be meaningful and would pay off in the end.
Sarheene's birthday - The last time we'd all be together before college life would start.
David Cook wining American Idol - Come on... David Archuleta? Ugh. But I still hate the radio stations' abuse of 'Always Be My Baby'. It's not his best song! How about 'Billie Jean'?
Indiana Jones and the Kigdom of the Crystal Skull - Haha moments. Indy's back. Older, slower, but with a new villain I love.
De La Salle University, Abegail Castro, Angellyn Ko, Jhana Sulit, Zalde Landicho, Belinda To, Ralph Yu, Raphael Cho, Joren Tan - Although short, the Animo experience will always be remembered. I made a lot of new friends and strengthened the one I had with Aby. Leaving at 6 am and taking many routes to and from La Salle was fun too.
Finding out that I was reconsidered for UP Manila - May 29th, around 3 pm, PE class. I got a call from Papa begging me to stay in La Salle. Confusion, anger, and arguments followed. This was a miracle.
The planner Louise gave me - It solved my time management skills. Whew.
Tina Fey bagging three Emmys: Best Actress, Best Writing, and Most Outsanding Comedy Series for 30 Rock - Tina's one of my favorite people. Other than that, she also out-Sarah'd Sarah Palin in SNL with her famous quote "I can see Russia from my house." She is undoubtedy the world's funniest and smartest woman today.
UUL and GBox. The 'block spirit' phase. - Short-lived, crazy, and quite fun. Pre-block issues.
Death of Ye ye - Although devastating, this brought me a new friend in Tessa Trazona.
The Dark Knight - Posthumously shows Heath Ledger as the creepier Joker. A metaphor about current times.
Karatula winning in the Skit Nayt - Our org's first major activity. I also enjoyed the Quiapo escapade.
Dien Castillon, Aeson Dantis, Daphne Maza - New additions to the menagerie.
My GWA despite my lackluster academic performance - Another miracle. We survived!
My 30 Rock, Heroes, Ugly Betty, and (gasp!) Gossip Girl marathon - I kind of love TV and when I do get crazy, I watch Gossip Girl. For fun and leisure.
Barack Obama being elected the 44th president of the United States - Who wouldn't write this as one of the events that made their year? (Republicans) 'Yes, we can' is now a famous quote.
Richelle Ugalde and Lance Dador - Latest additions to my menagerie.
Rock the Riles - The 7th of December was so fun and 'exciting'. Bands, photo ops, friends all made my day. Watching Ang Bandang Shirley, Juan Pablo Dream, and Sugarfree with friends was unforgettable.
Michael Johns in Greenbelt - Swoon and 'in awe' moment.
Floy Quintos' Atang - A great musical starring Shamaine Centenero-Buencamino and Ayen Laurel.
Lantern Parade in UP Diliman - Bonding, walking, bonding, and walking. Great fireworks. Hyped up parade. Lots of cheering. Food. Walking.
Star City and 'Twilight' - Hated the movie. Loved the friends. Partly loved walking and standing in line for 20 minutes at most.

Really, how can we make the world a better place?

Mon, 29 Dec 2008 10:42:28 GMT

This could be a naive answer to the question but I believe we should learn to ACCEPT. Accept that humans are flawed, that this friend of yours can be bitchy at times, that college will always be hard (especially since it's a premier university), that there will be a time for everything, and that there are things which are not in our control.

I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too!

Surprise, surprise (OBAMA)

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 08:10:40 GMT

Barack Obama has been elected the 44th US President in an historic victory.
(Sarah Palin is crying) Obama captured Pennsylvania, Ohio, Florida, Virginia, and Colorado. In Congress and the Senate, Democrats increased. The US is 232 years old and now, she has her first African-American president.

I could not explain how I'm feeling. I am not an American, yet I am ecstatic about this CHANGE. Obama epitomizes this change and America wants change.

"All things are possible. Do we still question the power of democracy? Tonight is your answer."
-Barack Obama

What now?

Meanwhile...

I have just enrolled yesterday and found out that my average was more than satisfactory. I don''t know what happened. I only knew that I didn't do well. But my GWA tells me otherwise.

Richelle, Aeson, Mudir, and Dien... Thanks for yesterday.

... A very short post due to joy and happiness and UNCERTAINTY.

The Graveyard and I

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 03:10:12 GMT

I'm not fond of Halloween. Sure, it's fun, but I just don't get it. So... In the spirit of non-conformity, I blog, refuse to wear a costume, and have recollections of my now deceased loved ones.

....

I'm working today. Not just because of the money (*cough* *cough*)! It's for fulfillment (yeah, right) to avoid boredom and being unproductive. Today, I am an assistant. I detest the word secretary. It connotes slave labor and telephone calls. Speaking of telephone calls, I do call people and text message them. I just don't receive calls because I'm not in Ortigas in our office. Thus, I am an assistant. I have just called restaurants for reservations, called people to get them to follow me, and I'm also doing a bulletin for my dad's Rotary thing.

I refuse to be bored.

....

I wonder how much my dad's going to pay me. He seems unfair most of the time when I work for him. He says that's because I'm his daughter.
Anyway, I woke up at 6 am the other day just to watch him on TV. There was this show on ABS-CBN, a morning show, like the Today show on NBC. He was interviewed because his project was a columbary. A really nice, elegant columbary in Taguig. And it's not filled with remains of dead people yet.

....

A poem for ye ye (maternal lolo in Taglish)

Please wake up (written on Nov. 19, 2006)

On the sixteenth day of the eleventh month
9.30 on the clock and he was gone
His heart stopped beating; stopped pumping blood
To places where it must
His eyes remained closed, his mouth swollen
His skin pale, his bruises apparent

We were on the road, but we turned back
Caught up with all the cars and stoplights
I never uttered a word on the way -- a sigh perhaps
But time faded too fast and it was too late

10.30 on the clock: That flight of stairs,
those doting women who kept us from seeing him
Those unnamed people
with their hushed voices and piercing stares
It kept me from him; from crying out his name

With closed doors we bade him our last goodbyes
But he wouldn't reply; wouldn't say
'I love you' back
But I touched his hands; those cold, cold hands
For the last time and
I shed my tears with no regrets except
that I never saw how his breathing stopped,
that I was not the one who held his hand

But I have the right to be selfish
It's human nature

It's 11.11 on the clock

....

Oh, what blues November brings.

Of course I'm NORMAL

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 02:26:23 GMT

Here's to me talking about my favorite topic... Myself!

How come I'm not normal? Here's another one of my lists:

I don't and am not allowed to date.

Even if I live in the only Catholic nation in Asia, there are a lot of 1d-year-olds (13-year-olds do too!) that do. And I don't really understand it. I mean, how do you date? What is the purpose of this date? Date implies the month, day, and year!

I don't and I've never have a boyfriend (definitely follows).

So I don't date. But I do like people. I do! Believe me... I just... When I was in my junior year of high school, I told everyone in class that I don't want to have disposable relationships. I still don't. And falling in love at this age is quite impossible for me.

I like Bob Dylan, Cate Blanchett, Tina Fey. I get easily addicted to people.

Wait... I'm not a stalker. I just go to Wikipedia, imdb, or whatever site there is and make the person's birthday my password. Then I watch all their movies or shows and listen to all their songs and save all their pictures and edit them and look at forums online...

I love politics, musical theater, books that 40-year-old men usually read, history, economics, and physics.

Yes, in fact, all of these are true. I love reading the paper, watching the Phantom of the Opera or Rent (then singing the songs in the shower), not necessarily waste my money on books, and read textbooks. I find them fun.

I only had a Friendster account last year ('twas March, I believe) and a Multiply account seven months ago.

I'm not really a sociable person. In fact, I am judgmental, sarcastic, and as they say, 'emotionally and socially retarded'. Then I got on Friendster... I'm pathetic.

Okay... So far, these are the only reasons I could conjure.

Normal is a state of mind and brought upon by media and society.

'Til next time!

Beyond the books: The Sem Break

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 01:13:16 GMT

Ah... The joys of the semester break...

I'm perfectly content with my current situation. My grades are good, and I am *satisfied* (although I could've done better). Classes are on the 11th of November and I'll be registering on the 4th. Now I find myself wondering what I would do with all this time in my hands.

OPTIONS:

go buy videos at the mall and have another glorious movie marathon (PRO: movies! CON: unproductive, plus, I hate going to the mall)
surf the net all day: watch Grey's Anatomy, Gossip Girl (guilty pleasure), go forth and Multiply.com (PRO: rest, watch shows CON: unproductive, eye torture, electricity bills)
have a mini break out of town (PRO: travel CON: I don't know with my parents)
work (PRO: productive, money CON: this is a semester break, right?)
read, play the guitar, draw, write, Photoshop CS2 (PRO: productive, these are things I love doing CON: too tired. I'll be distracted by the television and my laptop)

These are all my options... And I'm doing (and I've done) three out of these five. I'm still bored!!

Anyway, back to my grades... I am so thankful that I have satisfactory grades. I should have and could have done better but, you shouldn't cry over spilled milk... So they say... And they're right. The only thing I could do now is to get back on my feet and FOCUS.

GRADES so far (1.00's the highest, by the way:

HISTORY1 - 1.00
PE 2 (ARNIS) - 1.75
SOCIAL SCIENCE1 - 2.25
NATURAL SCIENCE1 - 2.25
MATH 1 - 2.75
NSTP - no grade yet
COMMUNICATION1 - no grade yet

GWA so far: 2.06

I'm thrilled and thankful... What a great sem.

I'm back to boredom... I kind of miss the sadistic torture college brings especially when you're in UP Manila. It brings total gratification when you get exempted from a final exam or when you thought you'd fail but you didn't. Four months of reading, analyzing, occasional crying, and binging will test your mental prowess, emotional capability, and physical willpower. Spiritual too, during bouts of doubt. I'm looking forward to the next one.

Penitence

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 17:45:15 GMT

Self-observation, reflection,and my current state has brought me to the conclusion that I have wasted my time on a number of useless and not-so-useless matters rather than concentrating on academics. After rigorous scrutiny of myself and what I have done in the past semester, I have come up with these:

DISTRACTIONS:

heavygames
youtube
multiply
DVD collection
the simpsons
30 rock
ugly betty
guitar
limewire downloads
jane austen
john steinbeck
barack obama, john mccain, joe biden, and sarah palin
the newspaper
new movies
magazines
robinson's place ermita
photoshop cs2
blogs
cate blanchett
tina fey
kikomachine komiks
a lot more authors (zafra, sittenfeld, coelho, meyer, kafka)

WHAT IT COST:

less than stellar grades
a wasted semester
wasted time
electricity bills
frequent lethargy

NEXT SEM, I WOULD:

be in a dorm, and therefore, would have less distractions and would be more pumped up to read textbooks rather than novels, shorts, and poems
not bring my DVD collection to the dormitory
limit internet use
read more novels and other books on weekends
resume attending the youth service in Victory Malate
bring my guitar in the dormitory but would have restricted use due to the presence of roommates and other residents
regulate photoshop cs2 usage
recommence writing and drawing
spend less
focus
pray
read the Bible more
remember Psalms 9:10 and Philippians 4:13

AAAARGH!